HealthyAttachment
Babies with insecure anxious attachment try to meet their caregiver’s needs so their caregiver can be regulated enough to then be present and meet the baby’s needs. If a baby can’t receive the external regulation they need, they are going to adjust themselves so that at least their caregiver can be present- this let’s the baby be seen!!!
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
As the baby explores the world or begins to create separation from their caregiver with insecure anxious attachment, this distresses the caregiver who often has subtle (or not so subtle) behaviors of dysregulation. The baby figures this out quickly, and because their primary concern is keeping their caregiver regulated so that they can experience b... See more
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
the child adapts their behavior to keep the adults regulated rather than self-regulation…
Because of their own attachment experiences and the accompanying neurobiology, the caregiver feels their baby’s distress and begins to have their own distress. In a way, the baby’s distress and the caregiver’s distress begins to merge.
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
Insecure Anxious Attachment
SECURE ATTACHMENT = ATTUNEMENT + RUPTURE + REPAIR
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (June 2023) on Vimeo
player.vimeo.comThe Brilliance of Attachment
The text explores attachment theory, detailing secure and insecure attachment styles, their development in children, and their impact on emotional regulation and relationships throughout life.
robyngobbel.comC A P A C I T Y F O R R E P A I R No caregiver is perfect and secure attachment does not come from an adult who meets their child’s needs all the time. Secure attachment is actually largely born out of the times a caregiver initiates a repair after they’ve had some sort of rupture with a child. Adults with secure attachment can see a rupture has oc... See more
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
E M O T I O N R E G U L A T I O N While certainly no human is emotionally regulated all the time, adults with secure attachment have a pretty wide capacity for staying regulated in the face of their child’s dysregulation. This is super important because if a crying baby (dysregulated) always created significant dysregulation in their caregiver, the... See more
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
F L E X I B I L I T Y They are good at providing structure and predictability yet comfortable veering off when necessary
Robyn Gobbel • The Brilliance of Attachment
R E S P O N S I V E N E S S They can respond to what’s actually happening in the moment and then adjust accordingly based on what happens in the very next moment. They are good at the ‘dance’ of relationships and ‘serve and return.’