Growing and leaning into self

How much of what you know about yourself is influenced by what you have heard? How much of it is true, and how much is just a vision you are trying to reach?

You try while others watch and wait. The embarrassment passes, the experience remains. The discomfort disappears, and you grow. Sometimes you have to blaze the trail before others can walk comfortably on it.

i know i don’t want it anymore, but there’s still tenderness in remembering. you can miss something deeply while knowing you’ve stepped beyond it.

Every morning, I'd wake early, the sky still dressed in a blue and gritty light, visit the sheep, then make coffee, sit outside, and think. Sometimes, I’d just sit. Watching the day grow bright. The vista of ocean and sky surrounding. The varieties of quiet. In open space, I am able to lift the guardrails of reason and productivity that pen in the... See more

it doesn’t happen all at once. it’s not like one morning you wake up, stretch your arms, and announce, right then, i’ve officially outgrown this life. it’s slower. stranger. more like a quiet restlessness that creeps in at the edges until suddenly, everything that once fit feels itchy, too tight, no longer yours.

You already know your part of the world by heart, but it doesn't end there.

Ideas for my writing never come out of nowhere, but instead are a reflection of the strands of work that I am reading, listening, and reflecting on at any given time.

saying no to what once defined you. saying yes to things that feel embarrassingly simple but deeply yours: walks, books, roasts in the oven, mornings that don’t rush.