grief and remembering
What can we do when we are forced to face death? Do we continue ignoring it or do we weave it into our understanding, possibly creating a more nuanced appreciation for both the fleetingness of life and its interconnected nature? I find that it is this very activity that can arm us with the tools needed to continue living in a world that no longer... See more
Veronica Menaldi • After mom died, I found great comfort in a medieval Andalusian tale | Psyche Ideas
The whole of the ancient, master teachings on suffering come down to this: Suffering is the notion “This isn’t it,” and it’s variants such as, “I can’t bear this, it shouldn’t be happening,” and “I have to know how this will turn out” and “What if it gets worse?”
Freedom, waking up and fearlessness come down to the simplicity of, “Wait a minute,
... See moreJohn Tarrant • John Tarrant : Articles
What does not feel like the deliberate prodding of wounds is a simple "I'm sorry," because in its banality it presumes nothing. Ndo, in Igbo, comforts more, a word that is "sorry" with a metaphysical heft, a word with borders wider than mere "sorry." Concrete and sincere memories from those who knew him comfort the most, and it warms me that the
... See moreChimamanda Ngozi Adichie • Notes on Grief
When you look back at the most fruitful moments of your life years from now, you’ll be surprised to discover how many of them unfolded amid a big loss or a crisis or in the face of a giant unknown.
Heather Havrilesky • Tolerating Unknowns Will Make You Stronger
So we stumbled through our loving, difficult readings and tiny speeches; then the button was pushed, and as the coffin advanced solemnly into the furnace, dysfunctional squawks came like a shower of arrows out of the sound system. The tape kept trying to play and its clicks and grindings were amplified very efficiently into the overhead speakers.
... See moreJohn Tarrant • Bring Me the Rhinoceros: And Other Zen Koans That Will Save Your Life
But getting older is hard. It is a gift, yes, but it is also heavy. Just as the doors of possibility become fewer and farther between, the burden of grief gets bigger. As the years pass, our losses in life accumulate, threatening to weigh us down. It takes active effort—breaths, walks, conversations with friends, rest—to slow down and remember
... See moreKatie Hawkins Gaar • Is This It? This is It.
There’s a layered quality to suffering and intense emotion. As you become interested, a tiny, elf light appears in the darkest dungeon. That’s the gate of emptiness. As you become more interested, you walk deeper into the forest and everything looks different. Sometimes it becomes joyful right away but it doesn’t need to. It’s become a path and
... See moreJohn Tarrant • John Tarrant : Articles
Grief, when it comes is nothing like we expect it to be. Joan Didion
Yet the fundamental loss remains—it doesn’t just dissipate—and, in a strange way, I think it can become a magnet for other losses. We come to see we are all simply creatures carrying around our ever-deepening loss. Small griefs seem to collect around the bigger primary grief. I think this realization allows us to become a true human being.