everything, absolutely everything, and it's everywhere, and it's me

Stop me if you've heard this one before:

A man walks into a bar and leaves before his ashes hit the floor.

Stop me if I ever get that far.

The sun's a desperate star that burns like every single one before.

I know we are supposed to be euphemistic about suicide but someone I love deeply has killed herself and I'm sorry if that sounds violent but it is, it was