friendship as the center

It is often in the cradle of friendship — a word not to be used carelessly — that our creative energies are strengthened and renewed.

Any skill or attribute you claim makes you unique—”I’m really funny”, “I’m good at shining shoes”, “I’m an attentive lover”—you can always find someone else better than you on that dimension. They’re funnier, fitter, richer, sexier, smarter, or better at shining shoes than you are. We can’t help but desperately compete in this unwinnable game of ha... See more

Rarely in our day-to-day lives do we get so excited that we are crying with our best friends, grabbing each other by the shoulders as we jump up and down with glitter on our faces screaming “WOOOOO!!!!!” Instead, we are that man in the subway: This is not a concert, we are riding the train, we are on our way to work, and that requires a certain dec... See more

So, as I was saying, I was swimming by the cliffs. Every day, walking up and down the coast I found new places to dive in. I got interested in high diving—something I had been too much of a coward to do as a kid. I felt a childish excitement for water. The kids on the beach would look at me, whisper, and laugh. That is one of the pleasures of youth... See more

The late historian Alan Bray, who wrote books both on homosexuality and on friendship put this eloquently: “The inability to conceive of relationships in other than sexual terms says something of contemporary poverty