#family

Those who wounded us were not superior, impressive beings who knew our special weaknesses and justly targeted them. They were themselves highly frantic, damaged creatures trying their best to cope with the litany of private sorrows to which every life condemns us.

All forms of trauma hinder a child’s ability to realize or acquire “essential arts of personhood.” Philosopher Annette Baier introduces this expression to highlight certain skills and abilities that are basic to human life, being human, and being treated as a human.

At one level, a sense of inherent loyalty means that we would very much like to be able to let bygones be bygones. Especially as we watch our parents diminish in strength and lose status in the world, it seems unfair to them to keep directing an impotent rage towards them and to behave in ways that were anchored in quite different power dynamics... See more