CPTSD

You are most powerful when you are most silent. People never expect silence. They expect words, motion, defense, offense, back and forth. They expect to leap into the fray. They are ready, fists up, words hanging leaping from their mouths. Silence? No.

the secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life

Something trauma survivors rarely acknowledge to others is how triggering criticism-- legitimate or superficial-- can be to us. Not because we're "thin skinned," but because it can trigger frustrating, embarrassing emotional flashbacks to feeling powerless & incompetent.

I just realized people who overexplain themselves aren’t looking for validation. They’re just used to not being believed - forced to prove their memories, their pain, their worth, their truth - until they’re exhausted from just existing.

Being heard & believed is a healing gift. To know someone is listening to hear, helps a fearful person relax & be present even in painful memories. To be believed, gives them hope that they don’t have to explain perfectly to be understood. Healing can begin here. Truly, a gift.

Kids who grow up in toxic homes often lack understanding that they’re allowed to take up space, & don’t have to give more than they have in order to be respected. It makes sense for these beliefs to carry into adulthood but it doesn’t make sense to still believe they’re true.

Was thinking today: About how so many of us survivors of narcissist abuser relationships were the product of childhoods lived in homes without kindness, tenderness, or love but with anger, hatred, and all forms of abuse. There is a direct correlation. And also, how impossible it

Children are often forced to carry the shadow which their parents ignored.