A phrase I heard recently and found useful: I agree with the idea, but I disagree with the tone.
Many ideas get dismissed because they are delivered in a cocky or hostile or dismissive tone—or because of who delivers them.
Separate substance from style.
Here are social psychologist Anatol Rapoport’s rules for criticizing something:
You should attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.”
You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are... See more