Conversations

A phrase I heard recently and found useful: I agree with the idea, but I disagree with the tone. Many ideas get dismissed because they are delivered in a cocky or hostile or dismissive tone—or because of who delivers them. Separate substance from style.

Good conversation tips:

• “If we had 5 mins left, what would you want to have had covered” gets to the meat earlier

• “Putting aside a list of pros/cons, what’s the one reason you’re doing this?” “Why is that the most important reason?”

• “What would the best version of yourself do”?

• When someone confronts you w/ a problem they have with you

  • What I heard was

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Roughly match the tempo, volume, and style of others

One thing I’ve learned to do intuitively is match the tempo of someone I’m talking to—I can’t do it perfectly, but I try. If they’re quiet, meek, and deliberate, I refrain from overpowering them. If they’re fast and snappy and loud, I try to keep up. This is pretty crucial. If you stomp all over... See more

“People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that those who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. So if you want the other side to appreciate your interests, begin by demonstrating that you appreciate theirs.”

― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes:

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