A phrase I heard recently and found useful: I agree with the idea, but I disagree with the tone.
Many ideas get dismissed because they are delivered in a cocky or hostile or dismissive tone—or because of who delivers them.
Separate substance from style.
In 1990, a Stanford psychologist called Elizabeth Newton divided participants into two groups: Tappers and Listeners. The Tappers were asked to tap out a familiar tune (like Happy Birthday) on the table. The Listeners’ job was to guess the tune, based on the taps. As you’ll see if you try it, that’s hard. Out of 120 tapped renditions, Listeners... See more
my sense is that people who take a long time to respond to messages, or tend to go into shame spirals about them, often put a lot of pressure on themselves to respond in a specific way