Some years back my wife and I got into the habit of asking each other
‘do you want comfort or solutions’ when the other was having a bad time. That one sentence can save us from an argument 9/10 times.
In 1990, a Stanford psychologist called Elizabeth Newton divided participants into two groups: Tappers and Listeners. The Tappers were asked to tap out a familiar tune (like Happy Birthday) on the table. The Listeners’ job was to guess the tune, based on the taps. As you’ll see if you try it, that’s hard. Out of 120 tapped renditions, Listeners... See more
Very early, I had a teacher who told me, “You have to choose carefully what you want to say. You can’t just say everything is wrong. People won’t like it.” So, I praise a lot of people all the time. I say what is good. I could stand on stage and say, “You are all ignorant,” but I don’t. I say, “I don’t know either.” So, I think it’s best to avoid... See more
“If I have a difficult thing to understand, if there’s something I think is not going to be that easy to get, I try to say it in three different ways. I think if you come in from different angles you have a better chance of getting a three-dimensional view of this difficult idea.”