to communicate well

A phrase I heard recently and found useful: I agree with the idea, but I disagree with the tone. Many ideas get dismissed because they are delivered in a cocky or hostile or dismissive tone—or because of who delivers them. Separate substance from style.

In 1990, a Stanford psychologist called Elizabeth Newton divided participants into two groups: Tappers and Listeners. The Tappers were asked to tap out a familiar tune (like Happy Birthday) on the table. The Listeners’ job was to guess the tune, based on the taps. As you’ll see if you try it, that’s hard. Out of 120 tapped renditions, Listeners... See more