my sense is that people who take a long time to respond to messages, or tend to go into shame spirals about them, often put a lot of pressure on themselves to respond in a specific way
Very early, I had a teacher who told me, “You have to choose carefully what you want to say. You can’t just say everything is wrong. People won’t like it.” So, I praise a lot of people all the time. I say what is good. I could stand on stage and say, “You are all ignorant,” but I don’t. I say, “I don’t know either.” So, I think it’s best to avoid... See more
The right person isn't someone who can read your mind. Get rid of your unrealistic expectations. Learn to communicate better, with calm and maturity, not defiance and anger.
We often raise issues of justice and equity not to advance meaningful social causes but to generate positive attention for ourselves by denigrating others. Sometimes this involves piling on—joining a Greek chorus of reproachful replies without contributing anything new—or exaggerating one’s moral outrage for dramatic value. In doing so, we dilute the impact of critical ethical issues and foreclose the possibility of productive public discourse. The goal is not to understand but to win.