Coaching

Failure is never fatal. It may feel like it for a while, but it is only a challenge. Keeping athletics in the proper perspective for our children helps them keep their problems in perspective.

Parents, we need to be their greatest supportive coach. It is our job to be the coach that we always wanted. Our actions shape their beliefs. We are the greatest influence on our children’s lives and in their development, stability, attitudes, likes, and dislikes. Children watch everything we do and learn by modeling behaviors and beliefs about

We can operate much better as parents when we know what it is that they want. Then we can ask, “Permission to hold you accountable and support your commitment?”

Let’s start with the end in mind. What is the goal of having our kids participate in sports? If the reason for playing is externally driven (such as a college scholarship,) then building mental toughness will be extremely difficult. Outcomes and external factors need to be the byproduct of sports, not the driver.

Not knowing the solution is painful and uncomfortable. However, the only way to build mental toughness and improve is to find a way, figure it out, and make adjustments. Athletics is one of the last bastions of having to find a way and figure it out, because unlike the test examples above, an athlete’s test is the game. Unfortunately, many parents

In the simplest terms, it’s easier to do nothing than it is to do something. And we as individuals always seek the path of least resistance. Our mind wants us to do the least possible work in order to achieve the greatest possible outcome.

Worth repeating: The worst time to discuss” performance is on the ride home. We may want to talk so bad that it is like acid in our mouth—they need to know what we think. We have great points, and they need to know how they can improve. All true, but we just cannot share them on the ride home.

To define it in a healthy way for your child, emphasize that competition means against yourself, not anyone else. In this way you will be teaching your child not to compare themselves to others, which often results in low self-esteem. Teach them to have an audience of one and that is the only one that matters.

Mental toughness is a continuum. It’s not either I have it or I don’t. Mental toughness is how much. How much mental toughness do I have left after making mistakes or after a bad performance? The skills that will translate into life are guts, resilience, and the willpower to fight and never give up.