Coaching

In the simplest terms, it’s easier to do nothing than it is to do something. And we as individuals always seek the path of least resistance. Our mind wants us to do the least possible work in order to achieve the greatest possible outcome.

We can operate much better as parents when we know what it is that they want. Then we can ask, “Permission to hold you accountable and support your commitment?”

Tragically, most deaths occur on the descent of Everest. Research reveals that seventy-three percent of deaths take place on the way down the mountain. That’s when severe fatigue or the belief that “I’ve done it” sets in.

When we should on our kids, we are establishing expectations, brutally reminding them of negatives, mistakes, and that they aren’t good enough. When kids fail to reach your expectations, they can suffer and feel like a failure. Shoulding on them creates expectations that that they may or not be able to reach.

Mental toughness is a continuum. It’s not either I have it or I don’t. Mental toughness is how much. How much mental toughness do I have left after making mistakes or after a bad performance? The skills that will translate into life are guts, resilience, and the willpower to fight and never give up.

Not knowing the solution is painful and uncomfortable. However, the only way to build mental toughness and improve is to find a way, figure it out, and make adjustments. Athletics is one of the last bastions of having to find a way and figure it out, because unlike the test examples above, an athlete’s test is the game. Unfortunately, many parents

Mental toughness, grit, or resilience is two-fold. The first part is how we handle, deal, and cope with adversity and setbacks. The second part is how well we perform under pressure.

When our body language is negative, we are demonstrating and showing that we don’t think the result is going to turn out like we’d hoped. We don’t have confidence or faith in our child.

Let’s start with the end in mind. What is the goal of having our kids participate in sports? If the reason for playing is externally driven (such as a college scholarship,) then building mental toughness will be extremely difficult. Outcomes and external factors need to be the byproduct of sports, not the driver.