Hannah Johnson
@chevere25
Hannah Johnson
@chevere25
Becoming is better than being
the illness was not just my own; the silence around suffering was our society’s pathology.
People think freedom is the power to change what you dislike about the world around you.
You can quit a job you hate. Leave a person who hurts you. Switch cities for a change of scenery. Chop your hair for a new look.
What freedom actually is: the power to change what you dislike about yourself.
To become chronically ill is not only to have a disease that you have to manage, but to have a new story about yourself, a story that many people refuse to hear—because it is deeply unsatisfying, full of fits and starts, anger, resentment, chasms of unruly need.
You cannot muscle your way to health when you are chronically ill. Rather, one way of coming to terms with an amorphous systemic disease is recognizing that you are sick, that the illness will come and go, and that it is not the kind of illness you can conquer.