People often destroy their relationships over their whims. "He doesn't go rock climbing with me." "She doesn't do this specific thing when we're having sex." They start to obsess over this lack, mistaking a flight of fancy for a great and vacuous unfulfilled desire that if satisfied, will fix everything. What could have been summarily dismissed bec... See more
Autumn Christianx.comPeople often destroy their relationships over their whims. "He doesn't go rock climbing with me." "She doesn't do this specific thing when we're having sex." They start to obsess over this lack, mistaking a flight of fancy for a great and vacuous unfulfilled desire that if satisfied, will fix everything. What could have been summarily dismissed becomes a giant gaping hole that explains Everything That is Wrong With Our Relationship. But you can just let it go. It's okay. You mistook a craving for a need, a whining incessant thought for a god that needed to be obeyed. Just let it go. You will feel immense relief when you do.
If your needs are being frustrated by another person’s behavior, it’s especially important to ask “Why?” enough times to reach the root of your feelings, where they can be expressed in terms of your needs, not other people’s behavior. If you feel really stuck, wanting another person to behave differently even though you know it’s not going to happe
... See moreMartha Beck • Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live
When a problem is bothering you, it feels like you need to do something about it. Instead, identify what belief is really the source of your trouble. Replace that belief with one that doesn’t bother you.
