I’m a conversion therapy survivor. The therapy itself was its own layer of psychological trauma that I still work through twenty years later. My therapist recently commented “I want to be careful not to ever hurt you because of your past experience with traumatic therapy.” I confidently (and kindly) looked him directly in his eyes and said “You don’t ever have to worry about that. There is no therapist whose opinion I trust more than my own.” It took years to understand that we are equals in therapy. If ever you feel like the professional lacks understanding or compassion for you, please don’t go back. The biggest red flag is when a therapist wants power over you, rather than you being empowered.
I’m a conversion therapy survivor. The therapy itself was its own layer of psychological trauma that I still work through twenty years later. My therapist recently commented “I want to be careful not to ever hurt you because of your past experience with traumatic therapy.” I confidently (and kindly) looked him directly in his eyes and said “You don’t ever have to worry about that. There is no therapist whose opinion I trust more than my own.” It took years to understand that we are equals in therapy. If ever you feel like the professional lacks understanding or compassion for you, please don’t go back. The biggest red flag is when a therapist wants power over you, rather than you being empowered.
Therapy is hard work—and not just for the therapist. That’s because the responsibility for change lies squarely with the patient. If you expect an hour of sympathetic head-nodding, you’ve come to the wrong place. Therapists will be supportive, but our support is for your growth, not for your low opinion of your partner. (Our role is to understand y
... See moreLori Gottlieb • Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
Therapy is an invention devised to correct the substantial difficulties we face understanding ourselves, trusting others, communicating successfully, honouring our potential and feeling adequately serene, confident, authentic, direct and unashamed.
Alain De Botton • The School of Life: An Emotional Education
Something trauma survivors rarely acknowledge to others is how triggering criticism-- legitimate or superficial-- can be to us. Not because we're "thin skinned," but because it can trigger frustrating, embarrassing emotional flashbacks to feeling powerless & incompetent.
Are you just a list of symptoms on some diagnostic questionnaire, or does your therapist take the time to find out why you do what you do and think what you think? Therapy is a collaborative process—a mutual exploration of your self.