How to Ruin a Great Conversation: 1. Replace curiosity with curiositas. 2. Treat therapeutic self-disclosure as the zenith of intellectual intimacy. 3. Assume that talking about great books is the same thing as having a great discussion. 4. Allow your conversations to become sclerotic. 5. Focus on the form of your conversations to the neglect of the content. The full essay by Brian Daskam is now live.
Every conversation is an opportunity to understand and connect with others much more deeply, if we know how to listen.
ask questions of your conversation partner that begin with “How…?” and “What…?” That is, questions that invite open-ended, constructive answers, rather than “Why…?” questions that demand justifications or “Do you…?” questions with yes/no answers.
It is difficult to say anything more general about the inequalities inimical to love, because different kinds of disparities can inhibit or kill conversation, depending on the kind of conversation it is.
Sometimes one person is too slow, like Bruce, or too silly, like Mr. Collins, or too desperate to impress, like Miss Bingley, or too puffed up and
... See more"Sherry Turkle made a provocative observation in her 2016 book Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age. She claimed that it takes seven minutes for a conversation to really get good. In those first seven minutes, participants are mostly giving standard answers to one another’s questions. However engagened and genuine they m
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