How to Ruin a Great Conversation: 1. Replace curiosity with curiositas. 2. Treat therapeutic self-disclosure as the zenith of intellectual intimacy. 3. Assume that talking about great books is the same thing as having a great discussion. 4. Allow your conversations to become sclerotic. 5. Focus on the form of your conversations to the neglect of the content. The full essay by Brian Daskam is now live.
So why don’t people talk more? Epley continued his research and came up with an answer to the mystery: We don’t start conversations because we’re bad at predicting how much we’ll enjoy them. We underestimate how much others want to talk; we underestimate how much we will learn; we underestimate how quickly other people will want to go deep and get
... See moreThe problem with focusing only on clarifying our intentions is that we end up missing significant pieces of what the other person is trying to say.