The impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you.”

And underneath the phrase is the unspoken suggestion that to receive is to be the weak one, the needy one, the poor one. Of course, from this perspective most of us would rather be the ‘giver’ than the ‘taker.’ The giver is rich and secure and doesn’t need anyone’s help. But taken to its extreme, giving becomes pathological.

Often this is complicated by discomfort around receiving. If your mother was Scrooge-like in her psychology and didn’t give generously, often a part of your psyche has this same filter and doesn’t give or receive in a gracious way. You then continue the legacy of scarcity.

Much of what goes by the name of modesty or humility is actually a refusal of ties, a distancing from others, a refusal to receive. We are as afraid to receive as we are to give; indeed, we are incapable of doing one without the other.