The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a

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And yet, somewhere beyond my carefully guarded solitude–I know my walls are not unbreakable. With the right person, I’d want to see what dishes they’re cooking and hear the songs they’re playing on repeat. But real love should never feel like surveillance. It should be the kind of knowing that doesn’t require proof. The kind of presence that doesn’... See more

Modern relationships are cauldrons of contradictory longings: safety and excitement, grounding and transcendence, the comfort of love and the heat of passion. We want it all, and we want it with one person. Reconciling the domestic and the erotic is a delicate balancing act that we achieve intermittently at best. It requires knowing your partner wh... See more