Working with Anger in Internal Family Systems Therapy
The agreement to express anger openly and directly is vital to any relationship where real intimacy is a goal. In such a situation a simple, clear “I’m angry at you” will often clear the air. This initiates the process of taking responsibility for our anger, sharing the provocation, and then working to discover whether the source was a genuine pres
... See moreEva Pierrakos • The Undefended Self: Living the Pathwork
Once you have identified the parts at a trailhead, you choose one to focus on for the session. It is best to choose a protector to start with because it isn’t wise to work with an exile unless you first gain permission from any protectors of that exile.
Jay Earley • Self-Therapy : A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness Using IFS, A Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 3rd Edition
In contrast to the managers who try to preempt anything that’s going to trigger the exiles, these firefighter parts are activated after an exile has been triggered and desperately (and often impulsively) try to douse the flames of emotion, get us higher than the flames with some substance, or find a way to distract us until the fire burns itself ou
... See morePh.D. Richard Schwartz • No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
HELPING AN ANGRY PROTECTOR UNBLEND 1. Validate the anger. Make eye contact, be compassionate, and be present. Speak to the protector directly: “Given that this is your experience…” 2. Validate and empathize with the underlying need. See the exiles beneath the rage. “Your need to be heard makes complete sense…” 3. Challenge the behavior and name the
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