Working with Anger in Internal Family Systems Therapy

Marlene often expresses her anger at the person she feels controlled by. She tries to prove to the person that he or she is wrong for trying to control her. This is an attempt to protect the exile from being dominated. Because Marlene's anger is protector-driven, it tends to be either inappropriate or too intense a response to what the other person

addition, by speaking for her Angry Part, Marlene reassured the part that she was now strong enough to speak up for her needs,

For example, one of my clients would get enraged at people whom he perceived as not respecting him, but he didn't express it to them. This rage was experienced by an angry firefighter but suppressed by a manager that realized it could get him into trouble. So it ate away at him inside.

In IFS, these parts are often called protectors-in-exile to distinguish them from exiles, which are disowned because of the pain they carry from childhood.

The client will instead express the anger constructively and will choose situations where it is safe to do so.

Unburdening a protector usually happens at the very end of the whole IFS sequence, after the exile has been unburdened, but in this case, it can be helpful to unburden some of the anger that the protector is carrying before even working with the exile.

H. Stone & S. Winkleman, Embracing Our Selves, New World Library, 1989.

Suppression comes from managers that try to exile the angry part and often criticize or shame it. Refraining comes from the Self, which chooses not to express anger because it wouldn't be helpful. The Self makes no judgment about the anger. The person accepts his or her anger and may even appreciate the reason for feeling it, but doesn't act on it.

The next step is for the client to get permission from the Enraged Part to work with the exile it is protecting and then to heal that part so the Enraged Part can relax. This was summarized above.