Working with Anger in Internal Family Systems Therapy

Marlene made an agreement with her Angry Part that when Marlene got angry at work, her Self could intervene and take a time-out to cool down before Marlene's Angry Part yelled at anyone. This Self-leadership kept her from getting into trouble and actually reduced the reactions from her boss that were upsetting this part.

In some cases, it can be helpful to unburden some of the anger before continuing with the rest of the process. This is often the case when the anger is intense, bitter, raging, or revengeful.

Marlene often expresses her anger at the person she feels controlled by. She tries to prove to the person that he or she is wrong for trying to control her. This is an attempt to protect the exile from being dominated. Because Marlene's anger is protector-driven, it tends to be either inappropriate or too intense a response to what the other person

This polarization work may not completely resolve the conflict, but it should at least allow the client to get permission from the manager to work with the Enraged Part.

The anger is being acted out in the client's life. 2. The anger is felt, but the Self refrains from acting it out. 3. The anger is felt, but protectors prevent it from being acted out. 4. The anger is disowned.

Suppressing anger is fundamentally different from refraining from expressing anger.

The next step is for the client to get permission from the Enraged Part to work with the exile it is protecting and then to heal that part so the Enraged Part can relax. This was summarized above.

For example, one of my clients would get enraged at people whom he perceived as not respecting him, but he didn't express it to them. This rage was experienced by an angry firefighter but suppressed by a manager that realized it could get him into trouble. So it ate away at him inside.

The client will instead express the anger constructively and will choose situations where it is safe to do so.