Working with Anger in Internal Family Systems Therapy

6 Reparenting is a term that I have introduced. Richard Schwartz sees this as a preliminary aspect of retrieval. I see it as a separate step in the IFS process that is important in itself.

H. Stone & S. Winkleman, Embracing Our Selves, New World Library, 1989.

A protector may be afraid that the client will be attacked, judged, or ridiculed by others for showing anger. Reassure the protector that you welcome the anger and would never judge or ridicule the client for expressing it. (Do your own work on yourself to make sure that this is true.)

The client will instead express the anger constructively and will choose situations where it is safe to do so.

Reassure those protectors that, as you get to know the rageful part, the client will remain in Self with your help, and therefore the rage won't get out of control.

When a protector is activated that blocks the client from welcoming back his or her anger, first ask it if it would be willing to step aside so that the healing process can continue.

Anger is a natural protector reaction to injustice, boundary violations, mistreatment, or frustration of one's aims. When we are in Self, anger is rarely necessary because we can call on our healthy sense of power, forcefulness, and limit setting to handle these situations. We can be strong and assertive without frightening or harming other people.

In IFS, these parts are often called protectors-in-exile to distinguish them from exiles, which are disowned because of the pain they carry from childhood.

I will call these disowned parts. I am introducing this new term because the part that is exiled isn't always a protector. It can also be either an exile or a healthy or non-extreme part.