If I’m always asking, What’s in it for me?—What benefit will I enjoy, and is it greater than the cost?—it’s harder to notice how I interact with others and how the way I’m behaving may not be considerate of what they might need from me.

So spend less time on figuring out the “right” decision and more time on thinking about how to widen your options and how to cope with disappointment if the decision turns out badly.

But Beerbohm surprises us. Once the mask has been removed, La Gambogi discovers, as do George and his new wife, that the face beneath the mask now matches what the mask displayed to the world—the face of a saint.

It’s all about him, which makes sense—he’s never had a partner.

Start by facing your ignorance.

the person you can explore life with at your side,

To get to where he wants to go, he wears the mask. We generally don’t like hypocrisy—the betrayal of principle—but Beerbohm casts it as a virtue. By pretending to be good and going through the motions, George Hell transforms himself. He repairs his hypocrisy, not by removing the mask but by removing his flaws.

You might desire to be a good friend even when it isn’t worth it, another financial phrase that implies a utilitarian perspective.

Belonging is a central part of the appeal of religion and politics—the feeling that you are part of something larger than yourself, something that you believe in as an obligation or that you believe will make the world a better place.