Wild Problems: A Guide to the Decisions That Define Us

It’s also not a bad idea to keep tradition in mind. I think most of us in modern times disdain tradition as the equivalent of superstition. It’s not a bad idea to think of it instead as what has survived the test of time. Not everything that survives is necessarily worthwhile. You might not bow to tradition, but it’s not a bad starting place.

the way he would see himself,

Wild problems that don’t turn out well aren’t mistakes. They’re more like adventures. Adventures have twists and turns and ups and downs. Belichick teaches us that if you can go on an adventure that you can end without great cost, go. If it turns out badly, cut it short. If it turns out well, enjoy the ride. This beats trying to figure out in advan

The pause can remind you that you can step out of your habitual response and be more considerate or thoughtful. With practice, you can change your habitual response to a better one.

Who might make a good traveling companion? Someone whose company you enjoy.

Nothing cancels out betraying who you are or who you aspire to be. So you can’t add “losing respect for myself” as one of the costs of keeping the diamond.

How had donating changed Lane’s sense of herself? Her answer was that if you had asked her before the donation if she was generous, giving, altruistic, she would have said no. And now she said, “I feel like I am.” She added, “If you think of yourself as an altruistic person, you become more generous and giving.” Max Beerbohm would be proud.

We want to belong to something larger than ourselves.

Sometimes doing your utmost means merely waiting. But it’s not waiting idly. It’s waiting attentively. It’s about paying attention. Sometimes doing your utmost means doing nothing but being ready for what comes next. Slowing down can help you see it, when it arrives.

“What’s in it for me” looms large in how we spend our time—it’s so easy to tell ourselves that we can spend time with family and friends later. They are there for us after all—they’re our friends and family.