Why Does Romance Now Feel Like Work?
the new desire for intimacy “has its roots in alienation caused by social fragmentation under capitalism”: The erosion of wider networks of support has meant that people increasingly seek a stable source of care, emotional fulfillment and validation in their partner.
Real Life • Silent Partner
Keely Adler added
Has love fallen into the realm of planned obsolescence? Where beautifully packaged, terribly fragile emotions are evidence of having reached the summit of our aspirations, only to be left yearning, craving that next big hit? Desire is the newest addiction. The feeling of “want” being much more thrilling than the comfort of being satisfied. Craving ... See more
The preoccupation with what it means to assign love value is not a new phenomenon, nor is the conflation of the language of love with the language of business. What is new is the idea that tracking love and love’s expression is important “internally” to the couple over the course of a relationship.
Real Life • Silent Partner
Keely Adler added
In the era of the institutional marriage, from the nation’s founding until around 1850, the prevalence of individual farming households meant that the main requirements Americans had for their marriage revolved around things like food production, shelter and protection from violence.
In the era of the companionate marriage, from roughly 1850 until 1
... See moreEli J. Finkel • Opinion | The All-or-Nothing Marriage (Published 2014)
Jennifer Baez added
“I have been forced to hear again and again the message that self-love is the ‘pinnacle of self-actualization’ and that craving a romantic relationship is a sign of weakness,” says maya finoh, a human rights advocate and model based in Brooklyn. But is our fear of appearing weak just feeding into rampant individualism in the dating climate and, in ... See more
i-D • Unpacking our generational fear of codependency
Keely Adler added
Prioritizing pure feeling, so the idea goes, leads to people choosing bad, unsuitable partners, to acts of desperation and violence, to shirking your duties. That love can also be an incredibly redemptive force meshes uneasily with our sense of individualism, with our Protestant ethics. Controlling it requires an entire normative framework.
Agalia Tan added
“We are in uncharted territory” when it comes to Tinder et al., says Justin Garcia, a research scientist at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. “There have been two major transitions” in heterosexual mating “in the last four million years,” he says. “The first was around 10,000 to 15,000 years ago, i... See more
Nancy Jo Sales • Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse
Carmen Maria added
A new era of romanticism, love, and intimacy - uncharted territory, prompted by the collision of hookup culture and dating apps.