Why do we still pedestal romantic love?
Has love fallen into the realm of planned obsolescence? Where beautifully packaged, terribly fragile emotions are evidence of having reached the summit of our aspirations, only to be left yearning, craving that next big hit? Desire is the newest addiction. The feeling of “want” being much more thrilling than the comfort of being satisfied. Craving ... See more
“I have been forced to hear again and again the message that self-love is the ‘pinnacle of self-actualization’ and that craving a romantic relationship is a sign of weakness,” says maya finoh, a human rights advocate and model based in Brooklyn. But is our fear of appearing weak just feeding into rampant individualism in the dating climate and, in ... See more
i-D • Unpacking our generational fear of codependency
Keely Adler added
It’s crazy to me that our cultural desiderata for a marriage so wildly diverges from the realities of what I see
Ppl are looking to fall madly in love and then “keep the flame alive” for a lifetime. But if “keeping the flame alive” means staying madly in love & having regular amazing sex, well…maybe only 1 out of 1000 couples are like that
And so... See more
river stone added
Looking for love sounds more like chasing the high of an extreme sport, trust falling with someone you don’t really know like that. It demands exacting reciprocity, extreme vulnerability. It brings out people’s basest and most primal instincts and a frightening desire to merge into someone else. When the girlies on TikTok talk about dating, they ra... See more
Agalia Tan added
while having a romantic partner is not a necessity for everyone, having a community is. “I truly believe that hyper-individualism, which is deeply rooted in capitalism, does so much work to trick us into believing that we should feel like we can do everything in life on our own,” maya says, adding that being in a relationship has made them so much ... See more
i-D • Unpacking our generational fear of codependency
Keely Adler and added
The psychoanalyst Otto Rank declared modern love a religious problem. As we grow increasingly secular and move away from the towns where we were born, we can no longer use religion or community to confirm our meaning in the world, so we seize a love partner instead, someone to distract us from the fact of our animal existence.
Caitlin Doughty • Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory
It often happens that you have a good friend of the opposite sex with whom you share common commitments. You trust this person’s wisdom and you find you can open up and share many intimate things without fear. He or she understands you well and listens to you and gives you great advice. But the person doesn’t attract you romantically. Maybe he or s
... See moreTimothy Keller • The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
I think all romance is an enduring curiosity for another person.