When You're Ready, This Is How You Heal

Eventually, you have to stop yourself mid-spiral and admit defeat. When you realize that there is no way for you to win a battle that isn’t yours to fight, you don’t lose—you’re freed.

It is normal and healthy to grieve the loss of someone with whom you used to have a deep or intimate relationship. But when it becomes obsessive to the point of being devastated and completely incapable of moving on, it is no longer the person you are mourning, it is an idea you had about your future life.

If you do not know what you want, start with what you’re most afraid of. You might not know what you desire, but absolutely everyone knows what scares them. What is the opposite of that fear? What is the alternative outcome to your worst-case scenario? What is the best possible outcome for the thing that scares you most? That is what you want.

Deep down, the relationship that ended was a distraction from the relationship you don’t have with yourself.

The journey isn’t about convincing yourself that you’re enough, but loving yourself even if you aren’t.

In this process, you’re starting to learn that part of building a life you really want isn’t just controlling the inputs and outcomes, but also surrendering to possibilities so good, you might not have thought to ask for them.

What if, after an entire lifetime of being sold the idea that the point of your life is to exist as perfectly as possible, you could now open up to the notion that perhaps you are, instead, here to enjoy the ride while you’re still on it?

If you’re willing to believe that something might be possible for you — it already is.

Everybody is having the exact experience that they need to be having right now.