When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People

• Jesus’ grace (Colossians 1:6) • that Jesus is the source of all wisdom and understanding (Colossians 1:9) • Jesus’ glorious might (Colossians 1:11) • that God rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of light (Colossians 1:13) • that in Jesus all things were created (Colossians 1:16) • that Jesus is before all thin

So then, in his words and in his practice, Jesus modeled how to let people go, how to walk away, and how to stay in charge of our schedule (and to a certain degree, not allow ourselves to be unnecessarily abused). Follow in the footsteps of Jesus by boldly walking away and finding a reliable person in whose life you can make a worthy investment

Toxic people, when called out on their hatred, control, and murder, will often try to make it about you. “Well, you’re . . .” We don’t have to live perfect lives to recognize imperfections.

Your safety doesn’t depend on your ability to figure everything out, to know the future, or to finally become a wiser, stronger person; your safety depends on the perfect knowledge, grace, and power of Jesus Christ.

If someone is trying to control you, that itself is toxic. Whether they use force or guilt, direct attack or unreasonable neediness (“You’re the only one who can help me, and you have to help me now”), it’s still all about control. Controlling someone (or letting yourself be controlled) is wrong.

“A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:7–8). A life of continued toxicity becomes its own punishment. Let the natural consequences of toxic behavior do their work in opening up a toxic person’s heart.

Notice the confidence that gives authority to his message. Jesus never appears desperate, manipulative, or controlling, as if when people didn’t agree with him, his feelings would be hurt. He is mission-focused and others-centered to his deepest core.

If we try to minister when our own fuel tanks are empty, we may end up doing more harm than good. We should follow Jesus’ example and not feel guilty about telling others no until we have first sat at the feet of our heavenly Father and received his love and care. We have to occasionally play defense in order to go back on the offense with renewed

What I have also learned to do, however, is to not engage them. Here’s what you need to know about the psychology and spirituality of toxic people: they like conflict. It feeds them. And they have a voracious appetite for it. Toxic people feed off increasing conflict, causing more trouble, and attacking more victims. They get a taste and become mor