Paradoxically, self-improvement tends to reinforce self-deficiency even as it attempt to address it. This is how incessant self-improvement and self-optimization can be a source of suffering. The alternative is self-unfoldment.

I had started meeting with a new therapist, a young woman—my first in probably six years—but felt lackluster about the experience, as I usually did when I tried that sort of thing, only ever lasting a few months with each one. (I always felt like I was trying to entertain them—this was my fault, not theirs, of course—but surely the right therapist

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