For much of his life, Paul wondered about death—and whether he could face it with integrity. In the end, the answer was yes. I was his wife and a witness.

Paul’s decision to look death in the eye

“You can’t ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote toward which you are ceaselessly striving.”

“Bereavement is not the truncation of married love,” C. S. Lewis wrote,

And yet this is not always an easy place to be.

delicate alchemy of agency and

Paul’s sense of humor—he was wickedly funny—or his sweetness and tenderness, the value he placed on relationships with friends and family. But this is the book he wrote; this was his voice during this time; this was his message during this time; this was what he wrote when he needed to write it. Indeed, the version of Paul I miss most, more even

daily act of holding life and death, joy and pain in balance and exploring new depths of gratitude and love.

Although these last few years have been wrenching and difficult—