Was It Even Abuse?: Restoring clarity after covert abuse.

relationship by feeling responsible for them, which can feel just as trapping.

The stark contrast between being placed on a pedestal to being treated like the dirt under their shoe is a tough emotional journey.

Or any achievements you have made are because of them and they have achieved greater. They undermine your separate sense of self, which can hinder the development of feeling whole or complete without them.

An abuser creates guilt over reasonable choices and healthy boundaries to manipulate you into handling the situation differently. The guilt leads to you feeling uncomfortable with

Rather than separate identities, abusers see you as an extension of themselves. In this sense, they view your idealised attributes and qualities as a part of them.

However, in the abusive relationship, the abuser uses power to dominate and disrespectful tactics to lower your self-esteem.

The primary aim of manipulation is for the abuser to avoid accountability so they can continue with their controlling behaviour. The primary target of manipulation is to make you question your perception, judgement and intuition.

When you yell at the abuser, it does not have the same effect as when the abuser yells at you.

Therefore, anything deemed less than perfect threatens their ego and sense of self.