We cling too tightly, close our eyes to what we need to look at hard, avoid questions that need to be asked, and in a million ways insist to our friends, partners, and children that the purpose of their existence is to define us. We build sandcastles and then try to live inside them, fearing the inevitable tide.

I now understand that this is because each person has their own plot. No one can be a supporting actor in someone else’s storyline.

It is not honorable for a tree to wilt and shrink and disappear. It’s not honorable for a woman to, either.

now I am different and special forever.

Studies prove that the more powerful, successful, and happy a man becomes, the more people trust and like him. But the more powerful and happy a woman becomes, the less people like and trust her.

There is no going back.

I have noticed that it seems easier for the world to love a suffering woman than it is for the world to love a joyful, confident woman.”

Grief is a cocoon from which we emerge new.

The change that happens to people who really sit in their pain—whether it’s a sliver of envy lasting an hour or a canyon of grief lasting decades—it’s revolutionary.