A real giveaway, the kind that nails down your spot in the promised land, is willing and joyful. You give because it makes you happy. You don’t have the slightest need to be repaid or to sit around admiring your own generosity. I must reiterate that you can’t feel this way about giving unless you’re sure that there’s plenty of good stuff for you. I

But when a gift moves beyond two people, the terms of the engagement change. In our household, we were not indebted to any one individual but to the community we helped build. This gave us the confidence to receive without guilt and to give without a sense of meagerness or competition.