But when a gift moves beyond two people, the terms of the engagement change. In our household, we were not indebted to any one individual but to the community we helped build. This gave us the confidence to receive without guilt and to give without a sense of meagerness or competition.

Find ways to give without expectation of anything in return. Be willing to receive gifts in any form and on any timeline. Be open to being wrong about all of this and adjust my approach as necessary.

gratifying is that with your earned sense of security often comes the desire to be more generous. Less to defend, more to give. To keep your energy high, it’s worth deciding on a mode of giving that feeds you.