Understanding Others' Emotions | Lisa Feldman Barrett

good way to answer this question is in terms of your brain’s three operating systems. If you feel worried, tense, pushed on, or helpless, that triggers the avoiding harms system, so you’d be particularly helped by “resource experiences” related to this system, such as protection, safety, relaxation, strength, and agency. Sadness, disappointment, fr

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This is likely one reason we see increased rates of anxiety among people with alexithymia. Because they cannot label their emotions, they aren’t as easily able to recruit their prefrontal cortex to help out and self-soothe when their fear system gets activated! So for people who struggle with emotional regulation or alexithymia, emotional labeling

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■Imagine yourself in your counterpart’s situation. The beauty of empathy is that it doesn’t demand that you agree with the other person’s ideas (you may well find them crazy). But by acknowledging the other person’s situation, you immediately convey that you are listening. And once they know that you are listening, they may tell you something that

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“Wasn’t it Bill Clinton who said that when dealing with anyone who’s upset, he always asks, ‘Has this person slept? Have they eaten? Is somebody else bugging them?’ He goes through this simple checklist. . . . When we’re handling babies and the baby is kicking and crying, we almost never once say, ‘That baby’s out to get me’ or ‘She’s got evil inte

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Things to ask yourself: -How do I feel today? Nervous? Excited? -What is my emotion trying to tell me? -What is this emotion based on? -Is it trying to keep me safe from something? What? -Is it a legitimate emotion or based on a false premise? -How would I feel if I decided to ignore this emotion? -How would I feel if I decided not to trade today b

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