Unbound: A Woman's Guide to Power

The primary superpower of the submissive is her ability to connect to a deep inner signal and to communicate the truth of that signal to others.

But they are requests made using submissive language—“I” language, emotional language with an exclusive focus on the speaker and her experience.

Beginning to feel these desires is an essential first step. But power is inviting others to participate in the creation of your envisioned reality. Before we can go after these desires and invite others to participate in collaborating with us to make them come true, we have to refine them, separating them from the fears and expectations that often

asking a question reverses the flow of attention. And control over the flow of attention is power.

The whole world is built on agreements, born from the conversations that happen inside relationships. All the seemingly fixed phenomena that surround us—from love to laws, from families to corporations to governments—are the direct result of an agreement.

Please note: At no point are you or your friend half in and half out of a dominant or submissive state of attention. Whichever state of attention you are occupying, you are occupying it completely.

The most radical thing a woman can do is want.

you make a list of everything you complain about, from the way your tech-bro boss fist-bumps everyone in the office, to the run you found in your stocking this morning, you will find that some of the desires masquerading as complaints can be easily dispatched: if you bought ten pairs of better-quality stockings, then getting dressed in the morning

It is only when you combine attention out with instruction—which may take the form of a seductive invitation, a playful suggestion, a stern correction, a demand, a request, or a direct order, and everything in between—that you have influence.