The best way to open people's minds isn't to argue with them. It's to listen to them. When people feel understood, they become less defensive and more reflective—and develop less extreme, more nuanced views. Productive disagreements begin with curiosity, not persuasion.

In thoughtful disagreement, your goal is not to convince the other party that you are right—it is to find out which view is true and decide what to do about it. In thoughtful disagreement, both parties are motivated by the genuine fear of missing important perspectives. Exchanges in which you really see what the other person is seeing and they real... See more

Grant offers the following four rules for productive disagreement:10 Frame it as a debate, rather than a conflict. Argue as if you’re right, but listen as if you’re wrong (and be willing to change your mind). Make the most respectful interpretation of the other person’s perspective. Acknowledge where you agree with your critics and what you’ve lear... See more