Twelve Steps of Adult Children: Steps Workbook

There are many definitions for codependency but for us it generally means we look outward for love and security from others; however, we secretly feel incapable of being loved and we never feel completely safe no matter what the other person does for us.

we had carried the disease with us in the form of persistent fear and distorted thinking. This is para-alcoholism as we know it.

Since we grew up with an orientation to fear, shame, and abandonment, we seek out situations that recreate these feelings in ourselves. This is a shocking claim, but many of us can relate to it.

helpful tip in working Step Two involves replacing the word “sanity” with “clarity.” By working Step Two, we gain clarity about how our family dysfunction affects us in our lives as adults. We gain clarity about our abandonment and internal shame. Many of us find Step Two sanity through clarity.

The Higher Power is patient as it seeks to help the adult child find wholeness and integration of a divided self.

We insanely knock ourselves out in relationships or in the work place, hoping for affirmation and praise, which we don’t believe we deserve.

The Higher Power is patient as it seeks to help the adult child find wholeness and integration of a divided self.

We mask our efforts to control another person by appearing helpful.

Change does not occur until the adult child does the Step work needed to curb the tendency to reach outside ourselves for love and affirmation.