Resentment Not surprisingly, this over-functioning way of life creates an undercurrent of resentment, which, naturally, is going to bubble to the surface from time to time.

others.” Everyone in our life comes to us, and we fill them up with all the goodness and energy they need to keep on moving. Lather, rinse,

host Glennon Doyle says, “When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.”

• I feel responsible for “fixing” what’s wrong in someone else’s life.

control. This is a recipe for unhappiness, both within ourselves (because we’re low-key telling ourselves we’re not good enough as we are) and within our relationships (because no one likes to be criticized or feel like they’re not meeting our over-the-top standards).

The real connection can get lost in that stream of excellent advice.

Armed with strength and courage, the process of real-deal change is also bolstered when you align yourself with healthier habits and behaviors gradually—by learning to identify what is (and is not) your responsibility. Slowly but surely, you can learn to

Auto-accommodating. Auto-accommodating is a state of hyper-awareness, where you are acutely dialed into what is happening around you, unconsciously scanning for ways to ward off conflict or correct problems, even if said conflict or problems have nothing whatsoever to do with you. It is always being ready to lessen someone’s burden or to help, even

As an HFC in recovery, I can promise you that the moment you realize that you are truly not responsible for others in the way that you might be imagining, you will have one of the most liberating experiences of your life. It’s freeing, expanding, and humbling, all at the same time.