To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others

Irritation, he says, is “challenging people to do something that we want them to do.” By contrast, “agitation is challenging them to do something that they want to do.”

Perspective-taking seems to enable the proper calibration between the two poles, allowing us to adjust and attune ourselves in ways that leave both sides better off.

“People usually know themselves way better than I do.” So now, in order to move people to move themselves, she tells them, “I need your expertise.” Patients heal faster and better when they’re part of the moving process.

America’s sales force outnumbers the entire federal workforce by more than 5 to 1.

Cannon-Brookes draws a distinction between “products people buy” and “products people are sold”—and he prefers the former.

But today, these salespeople told me, believing leads to a deeper understanding of your offering, which allows sellers to better match what they have with what others need.

The empathizers struck many more deals than the control group. But the perspective-takers did even better: 76 percent of them managed to fashion a deal that satisfied both sides.

The ability to move others to exchange what they have for what we have is crucial to our survival and our happiness.

In a world where buyers have ample information and an array of choices, the pitch is often the first word, but it’s rarely the last.