That sharp turn away from blaming others happens once you finally address your shame. Shame is something everyone has, thanks to our shame-ruled, shame-dispensing culture, but some people obviously have it worse than others. I’ve always been massively ashamed and self-hating, and for a long time, even in Ask Polly, I described shame as a thing you ... See more

so i stayed. i sat with the discomfort. i let myself feel the things i’d been numbing with busyness and discipline. and slowly, in ways i can’t map on a timeline, i began to see myself differently. i started noticing how harsh my inner voice had become — the one that measured everything in terms of enoughness. and instead of obeying it, i began to ... See more