There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate

But the Good Meditator patiently stayed with it, and finally the student was able to see that part of herself. Moral of the story: No matter what anybody says, don’t give up on yourself.

Pay attention. Self-hate is slippery. It will even say things to you like, “You shouldn’t believe the voices of self-hate. If you are still believing them, there really is something wrong with you!”

Ask yourself what are the things you’ve always wanted someone to say to you, but no one ever has. Ask the child inside you what it needs to hear you say. Make a recording. Tell yourself the things you’ve always wanted someone else to say. Include everything the child needs to hear to feel loved and appreciated. Listen to the recording every day. Ad

We often think of the battering cycle happening between a man and a woman, but it can happen with any two or more people. In the form of self-hate, it requires only oneself. In the classic situation, a man and a woman get together because they want to make their lives better. He will take care of her, and she will be supportive to enable him to tak

you are not becoming kinder, gentler, more generous, and loving, you are not doing this work. If you are feeling more burdened, judgmental, and rejected, you are doing self-hate.

And, of course, we fail to see that almost everyone sees themselves as victims and others as victimizers. And we continue to victimize one another. Who of us will stop?

those recommendations, people often say they’re afraid that if they are that kind to themselves they will become egocentric and self-indulgent. But we already are egocentric and self-indulgent! Being kind to ourselves is the way not to be egocentric and self-indulgent!

dollar in the bank, a dollar in the bank, a dollar in the bank… And you’re working at this! You’re up early in the morning, doing these things until late at night. Every day. Finally, you feel like you’re just kind of worn out. You feel like you need a little pleasure in your life, a little time on the beach or something. And so you think, “I’m goi

Confusion is the result of attempting to cling to a conditioned belief (if I try harder I can make it work) in the face of what you are seeing to be true for you (this isn’t working, I feel powerless, there must be another way).*

The odds are very good that’s not going to happen. If your parents could love you the way you want to be loved, it would have happened already. Only you know how you want and need to be loved. Only you can love you the way you want and need to be loved.