There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate

The best reason to look at self-hate is that self-hate gets in the way of being able to do spiritual practice. It gets in the way of finding that place of deep compassion within ourselves that is the largest part of spiritual practice.

It doesn’t matter what happened THEN. All that matters is what happens

When you are in the present moment, there is no you that is separate and alone, no identification with egocentricity. Self-hate is designed to make sure that doesn’t happen. Self-hate will pull you out of the

GUIDE: I think it does work, but not in the way we like to pretend it does. It works in that it enables me to do anything I want to do because I have to make up to myself for all the punishment I’ve received in life. It goes like this: I’m punished in ways that reinforce my identity, and then I’m talked into indulging myself in ways that maintain m

The odds are very good that’s not going to happen. If your parents could love you the way you want to be loved, it would have happened already. Only you know how you want and need to be loved. Only you can love you the way you want and need to be loved.

People 40, 50, 60 years old are waiting for their parents to parent them. “I don’t want to have to love myself. I want my mother to love me. I want my father to give me what I need.”

Almost Nobody Wants to Grow Up. We think it’s too hard. We would rather focus on what’s wrong with us and why we can’t do anything about it. We don’t want to take care of ourselves because that means giving up the wish to be taken care of by someone else. “I want my mother to do it. She should have done it but she didn’t. I’m going to stay stuck ri

Acceptance is the path to creativity, in fact, it is creativity. Until you accept, nothing new can be; you will have only the past. If you want a new world, accept the world as it is. If you want a wholly new world, accept it wholly.

But the Good Meditator patiently stayed with it, and finally the student was able to see that part of herself. Moral of the story: No matter what anybody says, don’t give up on yourself.