The Trusted Advisor

no greater source of distrust than advisors who appear to be more interested in themselves than in trying to be of service to the client. We must work hard to show that our self-orientation is under control.

It does not diminish the importance of credibility to say that it is the one aspect of trust that is most commonly achieved. Given the focus that most professionals place on their technical expertise, and its relative tangibility, this is the factor most likely to be done well by you (and your competitors).

recognize that clumsy attempts to establish intimacy too soon could backfire. Perhaps it comes from a vendor who assumes we share his passion for golf; or a dinner invitation we put off with “Yes, let’s do that, sometime,” or a sharing of personal experiences that is more information than we want to know.

find (or create) a number of opportunities to demonstrate both rational and emotional reliability, by making promises, explicit or implicit, and then delivering on them.

Clients recognize excessive self-orientation through such things as: 1. A tendency to relate their stories to ourselves 2. A need to too quickly finish their sentences for them 3. A need to fill empty spaces in conversations 4. A need to appear clever, bright, witty, etc. 5. An inability to provide a direct answer to a direct question 6. An unwilli

Reliability is about whether clients think you are dependable and can be trusted to behave in consistent ways. Judgments on reliability are strongly affected, if not determined, by the number of times the client has interacted with you.

tips on enhancing credibility: 1. Figure out how to tell as much truth as possible, except where doing so would injure others. 2. Don’t tell lies, or even exaggerate. At all. Ever. 3. Avoid saying things that others might construe as lies. For example, “Yes of course, we’ll put our best people on the job.” (Really? Who are the worst? Says who? And

The most common failure in building trust is the lack of intimacy.

requires a moderate amount of time to establish. For the rational component of credibility (believability) we can examine someone’s logic, or check someone’s claims against the direct experience of others (i.e., references). This doesn’t take long. The emotional side of credibility (honesty) takes longer to evaluate, because it takes longer to assu