The Trauma of Everyday Life

“the unbearable embeddedness of

In so doing, the Buddha’s mother acted out an inadequacy that many a mother—like many a lover—is vulnerable to, an inadequacy fed by thoughts of doubt and fear that erode confidence and corrode connection.

Our humanity resides in our feelings, and we reclaim our humanity when we direct our curiosity at that which we would prefer to avoid.

Pleasure is not the problem, the Buddha taught: Attachment is.

All that is subject to arising is subject to

Especially in situations in which unbearable emotions are stirred up, the self’s only choice is to wall itself off from whatever is threatening it, to remove itself from what it cannot regulate.

“It is a joy to be hidden,” wrote Winnicott of the struggles of such children, “but disaster not to be found.”

The infinitely poignant beauty of creation is inseparable from its diabolic destructiveness.

“In a blindfold world I go to beat the Deathless

Before saying a word, he motioned to a glass at his side. “Do you see this glass?” he asked us. “I love this glass. It holds the water admirably. When the sun shines on it, it reflects the light beautifully. When I tap it, it has a lovely ring. Yet for me, this glass is already broken. When the wind knocks it over or my elbow knocks it off the shel