The Soulful Art of Persuasion: The 11 Habits That Will Make Anyone a Master Influencer

Transactions are about getting what you want; the long game is about forging relationships. “Always be closing” is about pushing people to do something; the long game is about pulling people toward your way of seeing things by engaging them on a human level.

Finally, persuasive people are soulful. They hold themselves to their own self-imposed ethical and personal standards, always strive to be better, and motivate others to push beyond their normal limits. They are sources of inspiration for those around them. As a result, they possess a personal authority that makes them naturally influential.

What’s my secret? Well, I’ve only found one solution that works in today’s modern world: be the opposite of the greasy salesperson or the self-deluded blowhard everyone is on guard against. Be someone people can trust and relate to and even sometimes be moved by.

There are four collaborative skills for you to consider that are particularly powerful: Ask for small favors. Ask for advice. Give honest encouragement. Think outside the silo.

Third, persuasive people are empathetic. They are naturally curious about other people and seek out engaging conversations that delve past small talk into topics that genuinely matter to others.

When you let your freak flag fly, it shows the other person that they are trusted, respected, and welcome.

Persuasion isn’t about coercing your audience to do what you want. Rather, it’s about attracting them to a particular conclusion, and letting them get there on their own. Being pulled is always preferable to being pushed.

Don’t force the interaction; just make the introduction and let them do the rest. Your goal is to value relationships for their own sake—and that includes other people’s relationships.

HABIT 1: Being your own weird self makes it difficult for others to see you as phony or manipulative, and allows them to recognize you as a unique individual. HABIT 2: The power of storytelling will help you to reframe contentious issues and offer your point of view in a way that resonates on a human level. HABIT 3: Never be closing and avoiding th

First, persuasive people are original. When they speak, you sense they are coming from a place of authenticity and honesty and that you’re getting a glimpse of the real, unique them—not some prepackaged version designed to please you.