Sex can be so much more than we have come to believe. It can be a gateway to more connection, more vitality, and more sensation in all areas of our lives. All we have to do is explore it with the mind of a beginner. To leave behind the menu that’s been handed down to us, with all of its rules and expectations, and feel our way.

Once you’ve determined which spots feel good to your partner, you can start to determine the type of coverage that feels good to her. How

find I can learn more by using my hands than by going down on my partner, because I have more options for the type of touch, as well as the pressure, speed, and friction I can create. And of course, there’s always the option to do oral and fingering at the same time.