When a relationship begins, you are creating something new together, even if you don't realize it or label it as such. Just the very process of building a relationship together is creative: you are trying new things, growing in love and trust with one another, and perhaps even embarking on bigger creations like a marriage or children.

Once you have identified the feelings you want to feel, ask yourself what action steps you can take to bring more of these desired feelings into your life.

The question is, do you give yourself permission to have sexual pleasure? While many people are pretty sure they allow for sexual pleasure, a deeper search often reveals that there are unconscious voices in our heads, born out of domestication, that tell us sexual pleasure is wrong, selfish, or even dirty.

Next, try to imagine what this person would say to you, and—this might be tricky—only what they would say to you from a place of unconditional love. This will be difficult, but it invites you to tap into the power of compassion and kindness, and to try on the notion of that love coming from them to you.

healing can help us go beyond fear and allow us to experience the benefit of a deeper, fuller love without the unrealistic demand that the relationship should never have the power to hurt us.

In this process, you must remove any guesses or wishes about what may or may not be true for your partner. In this way, you are committing to you while simultaneously granting freedom to your partner. You are not judging their behavior, guessing at their motivations, or demanding that they change (even if inside you might hope that they do).

If we continue to deny our own inner truth about something, then within our minds we are creating what we refer to as a shadow self. In other words, if we hold on to an image of who we think we are or who we think we should be, then any actions or desires that are contrary to this idea are relegated to our shadow, either by blinding ourselves to

One way to be creative and playful is to practice exclusive giving and exclusive receiving. This is initially an uncomfortable challenge for some couples, especially if one of you is used to being the giver and the other the receiver.

“How am I really feeling right now? Why am I choosing to close off rather than deal directly with the situation at hand?”