Psychology has names for this. Repetition. Secondary gain. Familiar distress . The language is accurate but bloodless. It doesn’t capture the aesthetic pleasure of melancholy well-worn, the satisfaction of being able to say this is why I am like this . It doesn’t account for how seductive it can feel to remain loyal to a wound rather than risk a... See more

Your suffering has become a subconscious credential.

You wear emotional scars like proof you’ve “earned” your wisdom.

There’s a part of you that believes if the pain stops, the insight will dry up — and without your insight, what else would people love you for?

Therapy-speak, with its first-person narratives of pain, assumes a similar link between vulnerability and identity. Its confessional aspect doubles as an affirmation of humanness, which is always both empowered and frail.