The secret to modern friendship, according to real friends
Back in the 1980s, the Oxford psychologists Michael Argyle and Monika Henderson wrote a seminal paper titled “The Rules of Friendship.” Its six takeaways are obvious, but what the hell, they’re worth restating: In the most stable friendships, people tend to stand up for each other in each other’s absence; trust and confide in each other; support ea... See more
Jennifer Senior • It’s Your Friends Who Break Your Heart
What makes friendship so fragile is also exactly what makes it so special. You have to continually opt in. That you choose it is what gives it its value.
But as American life reconfigures itself, we may find ourselves rethinking whether our spouses and children are the only ones who deserve our binding commitments.
Jennifer Senior • It’s Your Friends Who Break Your Heart
Any skill or attribute you claim makes you unique—”I’m really funny”, “I’m good at shining shoes”, “I’m an attentive lover”—you can always find someone else better than you on that dimension. They’re funnier, fitter, richer, sexier, smarter, or better at shining shoes than you are. We can’t help but desperately compete in this unwinnable game of ha... See more
billmei.net • Friendships Form via Shared Context, Not Shared Activities
What if the opposite of loneliness is finding ourselves together? What if friends aren’t threats or competitors but gifts?
James K. A. Smith • On the Road with Saint Augustine: A Real-World Spirituality for Restless Hearts
Why Your Friends Are More Important Than You Think
greatergood.berkeley.edu
relies on people’s tendency to be drawn to novelty as a way to increase the depth of her new friendships quickly.