making someone act for you, at their detriment, can make them like you more.

But in reality, people subconsciously evaluate their relationships based on how much value they get from such relationships.

This finding exemplified a simple truth: memory and mood are inexorably linked, and manipulating one can manipulate the other.

Cognitive dissonance is essentially the resolution of a conflict between people’s views, thoughts, and actions.

Walster, Walster, and Berscheid proposed the theory of equal relationships in 1978. They investigated how relationships rife with inequity functioned and found that the best and happiest relationships have an internal score sheet as to who is sacrificing and serving more. In these relationships, both sides sought to keep it equal. As mentioned, peo

Underlying everything is the fact that people hate feeling guilty (when they take too much) and also hate feeling taken advantage of (when they give too much). If there is inequality in any measure, both parties will feel one of those emotions.

Why do we do this? Because we are instinctually seeking out similarities and common ground. We want to find a connection and point of reference from which to evaluate other people as quickly as possible so we know whom we are talking to. We make judgments on people very quickly, and if they are similar to us, our judgments will tend to be more posi

People do not like to be in somebody else’s debt. People do not like to feel that their friend is giving them more than they give their friend. Loudly seeking equity in friendships and creating equal status avoids issues like that. Our egalitarian natures lead us to expecting others to hold up their end of the bargain. In other words, since you and

People’s moods and memory are highly linked. If you get a clear idea that someone is in need of a mood boost, you can talk about things, people, and events that were present when they were in fabulous moods. Reference their greatest triumphs or fondest memories.