Busy schedules and parental responsibilities need not affect the level of intimacy. If the partners focus on each other when they are together, their relationship will not lack intimacy. If, on the other hand, they think about tomorrow’s meetings, they will lose their sense of intimacy. It is not the schedule itself that makes them less close; it

To help your partner change, you need permission—freely

couples can lose sight of the closeness in their marriage when they search for the specific conditions they think they want. Often, the only reason they want those specific conditions is that they assume they will bring more love. For example, some couples work hard to accumulate money so that they can take great vacations and become closer

The problem is how serious and important you see your reaction as being, how much time you spend ruminating over it and how much you blame your partner for it.

If you must communicate when you are both down, head for the high ground—the positive and hopeful. You can always share possibilities and visions, discuss how difficult it is to see things accurately in a low mood, how much you want the same thing, how deceiving appearances can be and the things for which you’re grateful. These subjects will lift

Any person can have such a change of heart. All it takes is a realization that occurs in the silence of one’s mind. Insights are products of the heart, not the head. They involve seeing, not thinking. Being touched by an insight shifts your thinking and your outlook on life so you have a change of heart. A change of heart is always a fresh start.

Moods are the constant shifts in perspective built into our experience of life. Our thinking and therefore our perceptions of life are a function of mood changes. Our thoughts are more optimistic, lighthearted, and wise when we are in a high mood.

the way to change a behavior is to change the feeling that motivates the behavior—the first domino.

Positive communication does deepen the feeling between two people.