We taught her that her expectations were not some objective truth of how things should be.

If I am with a person and I entertain negative thoughts about how that person lives or is, my positive feelings begin to disappear.

Today’s complaints and criticisms are merely the most recent “cause” of dissatisfaction. The dissatisfied person is predisposed to seeing faults and shortcomings in the same way that the worrier is predisposed to see what might go wrong.

The conclusion is that all feelings come from our thoughts.

Thoughts of compatibility or incompatibility are a compass that reacts to your level-of-closeness to the other person.

The same differences viewed from a feeling of discontent will make the partners seem incompatible.

Some people have the mistaken idea that holding resentments somehow protects them from making the same mistake.

With real change, we don’t make it happen. Instead, we notice it after it has happened. This change happens because it doesn’t occur to us to act in the old way.

Change is the nature of moods, our “inner weather.”